The Best of the Police Blotter 2011

This year's roundup of police activities included a man in handlebar mustache giving off a weird vibe, a Botox bailout and a gruesome (but not real) leg in a trash can. And was it Wild Turkey or wild turkeys? Take a look inside to find out.

January 11

2:22 p.m. - A resident of Lovell Avenue called police to report that an unknown subject had contacted her son via Facebook with a friend request. Police provided the woman with advice about how to decline the friend request.

January 14

1:08 p.m. - After seeing two subjects laying down on the front lawn of the , a resident called police. Police responded and determined that the man and woman were simply relaxing.

January 29

10:32 a.m. - A resident called police to report that a woman was selling cheetah and zebra skins on the corner of La Goma Street and Miller Avenue. The caller said she was concerned that it is illegal to sell those animal hides. Officer responded and determined that a woman was having a garage sale and there was no violation.

February 22

5:36 p.m. - A resident of Plymouth Avenue and Oxford Avenue called police to report that he was being harassed by his 9-year-old neighbor, who was slamming down the cover of a hot tub. Police provided advice as to how to deal with the matter.

March 15

5:20 p.m. - A customer at Pearl’s Phatburgers called police to say that they gave her the wrong burger and refused to give her another one. She told police that she was going to slap somebody, hurt some people, break glasses and be loud and disruptive in order to scare customers. She wanted another burger. Employees made the woman another burger and avoided getting slapped.

April 9

3:01 p.m. - Someone called police from Piatti’s Restaurant to report seeing a boat that is possibly overturned and something splashing behind it. The caller wanted someone to check and make sure everything is okay. An officer responded and checked the Richardson Bay area but couldn’t find an overturned boat. The officer then contacted the caller, who told police that he hadn’t in fact seen a boat, but did see a lot of splashing. The officer spotted a number of birds resting in shallow water.

June 2

8:04 a.m. - A resident of Edgewood Avenue called police to report that a neighbor has a rooster in violation of a noise ordinance. The caller told police that he wanted to remain anonymous but that he had spoken to at least 30 neighbors who have complained about the rooster. The man said the rooster’s crowing sounded like a “low volume chainsaw.” Police were unable to locate a rooster.

June 9

4:09 p.m. – A woman called police from near Camino Alto to report that a Hispanic man in a small economy vehicle looked at her in a threatening way. Police were unable to find a small economy vehicle in Mill Valley. 

July 25

7:45 a.m. – A resident of Laurelwood Avenue reported that a man with a handlebar mustache in an older vehicle gave him a weird vibe. The resident said the man was leaning back in his vehicle. A police officer responded, contacted the man and found that he was waiting to start work nearby.

July 29

8:28 a.m. – A resident of Edgewood and Molino avenues reported seeing a man in his early 20s wearing a long trench coat, cowboy hat with feathers and a sword to his side. The caller told police the man didn’t seem threatening but was still concerned due to the presence of the sword. Police checked the area but were unable to locate a sword-wielding Marlboro man. 

August 27

12:09 p.m. – Caller is relaying second-hand information from her daughter that there is a possibly human leg sticking out of a recycle bin on Hazel Avenue.  Caller said it could be fake but there was blood showing.  Before officer could be dispatched, caller called back to say daughter spoke to neighbor and it is a fake plastic foot hanging from the recycle bin.  No merit. 

August 30

12:42 p.m. – A resident of Cascade Drive reported a man walking by her house with a beer tucked inside his coat as he looked into parked cars. A police officer approached the man and determined that he was not drunk, wasn’t on probation or parole and had been using the side mirror of a car to apply sunscreen to his face.

September 1

7:55 p.m. – A doctor located on Redwood Highway Frontage Road reported that a client received $420 worth of botox injections and left without paying. The woman reportedly told staff that she was going to the restroom but left the office. Police have contacted the woman, who has agreed to pay her botox bill.

September 5

9:10 a.m. – A resident of Ralston Ave. reported receiving a suspicious email she thought was a scam but wanted to know how to report it. The email claimed a family member or friend has been mugged/jailed overseas and needs money wired via Western Union. Yes, it’s a scam.

September 30

1:33 p.m. – A resident called police from near Camino Alto and Overhill Road to report a vehicle driving recklessly, almost hitting a bicyclist and swerving. The caller said the female driver was possibly drunk. Police checked the area but could not locate the suspect vehicle. Police did, however, see a number of wild turkeys in the area that could have distracted the driver.

October 1 

1:37 p.m. – A resident called police to report that an older man sitting alone at Hauke Park wearing tennis shoes with orange laces was staring at the kids. The caller left the area because he was feeling uncomfortable. A police officer responded and contacted the suspect, an elderly man sitting on a bench watching his grandkids play soccer on a nearby field.

October 3 

12:58 p.m. – A number of items were reportedly stolen from the CVS store the previous night around 7:45 p.m., including Rogaine shampoo products, Crest white strips, Prilose and 2 Sonic Care toothbrushes. Store employee burned a DVD from the surveillance video for police.

October 5

12:02 a.m. – An officer on routine patrol contacted a man sitting in his car outside the Mill Valley Library. The man told the officer he was using the library’s Wi-Fi, and the officer sent the man on his way.

October 6

4:20 p.m. – A resident of Ashford Avenue reported that a man got out of a car, ran up to his front porch and stole a $40 bathtub faucet that he had planned to return. Police were unable to locate the suspect.

December 16

2:30 p.m. – A driver called police from East Blithedale and Elm avenues to report that traffic was being blocked by a pair of teenage girls performing dance moves and riding bikes in the street.

December 22

4:42 p.m. – A resident of Tamalpais Ave. reported that a friend left an edible Christmas gift between 10:30 a.m. and 3 p.m. at the gate of her home, but when she returned home she found the card ripped up down the street and the gift missing. 

Simon December 31, 2011 at 02:48 AM
Does anyone ever wonder if the person who writes the blotter has a lot of fun doing it, kind of like the writers at The Onion?
Daniel January 01, 2012 at 02:28 AM
Actually, does anyone ever wonder why people in Mi-Valley have so much free time on there hands to bother reporting such trivial nonsense? Does anyone also wonder why these people don't apply this seemingly wasted time to helping out those disadvantaged?...


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