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Make Those New Year's Resolutions Stick

When it comes to following through on those annual goals, soul searching and recruiting some help are some of the tips served up by a few local experts.

It's that time of year again when we vow to be our best selves. We chatted up a few local experts on the most efficient ways to make sure those New Year's resolutions turn into accomplishments.

The importance of setting goals and specifically writing them down is often supported by the story of a study of Harvard or Yale graduates that found 3 percent of graduates with written goals earned 10 times as much as the 97 percent without written goals. Dr. Gail Matthews of Dominican University in San Rafael says that oft-quoted study never actually happened, but her own research backs up the basic premise that setting goals and making plans is a good thing. Her research found a 33 percent increase in goal attainment if you write down your goal, tell a friend and send weekly updates to that friend.


Setting goals like New Year's resolutions is known to be extremely important to success. Without lofty goals, most successful people wouldn’t be nearly as successful as they are. Even if they don’t reach the stated goal, they end up higher than they otherwise would have.

“On the negative side, unless done properly, just making a resolution does not have the stick-to-itiveness that leads to lasting results,” says Ben Kline of Clarity Performance. The three most important tools you can use to improve your goal attainment, according to Matthews, are writing down your goals, committing to goal directed action, and holding yourself accountable. 

Setting the right goal is the first step and this is a soul searching activity. Use your intuition and life experience, and don’t be influenced by those around you or the culture at large. Writing your goals down is the next step. Written goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Time bound (SMART). So instead of declaring you want to lose 20 pounds, say you’re going to lose 20 pounds (measureable) of fat (specific) within 12 months (time bound and realistic), by doing x, y and z (action oriented) on these specific days (realistic).

Remember to set goals around habits and actions that you can affect rather than simply the outcome such as the amount of weight lost or dollars earned. Resolve to change your actions and your results will follow.

Increasing the stick-to-itiveness, or unshakeable commitment to your action steps, can take many forms. Dr. John Deri, a Mill Valley psychiatrist and triathlete advises that you:

  • Expect setbacks, prepare for them and use them as learning tools
  • Develop a mantra of positive self talk to generate self confidence and pick yourself up when you need it
  • Insulate or cut yourself from the negative influences of others
  • Identify your own self defeating beliefs (your excuses and rationalizations) and work tirelessly to overcome them
  • Take responsibility for your performance
  • Visualize yourselves reaching your goals

We cannot make ourselves accountable. We need help with that. “That go-it-alone, pioneer mentality doesn’t work for reaching goals,” says Deri. He recommends you recruit able helpers - usually not your spouse or best friend. They would be a coach, a therapist, a personal trainer, a support group or a workout buddy. They need to be the person who can demand you do your homework without fear of losing the relationship.

So search your soul this week and if you find there are some changes that you would like to make in the coming year, don’t be afraid to resolve to do things differently. Set a goal, make some action plans and enlist the help of a someone to hand in your homework to on a weekly basis.

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
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Bill Hall May 24, 2013 at 08:59 am
Well Mister Hat, I was asking a question that people who grew up here and remember the parades ofRead More Mill Valley still ask a lot. If that's complaining to you, sorry. There's many good things to this parade, the point is it is memorial Day , and many of the east coast newbies have been trying water down that part. I agree with you about the peace veterans, I always honk when I see them at the redwoods. Unfortunately you picked a battle with them and tried to keep them out of the parade, They end up separate in the back. Just because they included a list of Palestinians that were killed the week before with American bombs that we Tax payers give to Israel in support of an occupation. I believe your words were, " what the hell do Palestinians have to do with memorial day, " I doubt your politics would allow you to understand. I agree with you Mister Hat, it will be great when there's no war, but I'll always honor those who allowed me my freedom. Hopefully there will be a day when all people will live free of oppression, check points, and forced poverty. You are also right, many of us who grew up in Mill Valley go else where on this day to places that feel more like home. The fashion police was fun the first year, but now it's obnoxious and pretentious. As head Honcho you've turned it into more of a look at me, aren't I special parade. Mill Valley has an entitlement issue that you promote, it's shallow and pretentious. I just wish that the City would take over the Parade so you couldn't dictate your New York views on it. Good Day Mr. Hat
Erma Murphy May 23, 2013 at 11:57 am
Well said Larry!
Larry the Hat Lautzker May 23, 2013 at 09:22 am
Every year we get a handful of folks who complain about something they don't like about the parade.Read More In this case, I could take a great deal of time to explain that most veterans go to the Civic Center or Presidio for a more tradition Memorial Day event. Fortunately or however by design, Mill Valley is NOT stuck in tradition. If I may speak as a community (as I see it), we all in our own way celebrate Memorial Day. I don't believe anyone takes for granted our Grand Parents, Fathers, Sons or Daughters who gave their lives so we could grow up in a better world filled with love, compassion and protecting our right to live in a free society. So we Celebrate Mill Valley on Memorial Day, ever mindful of our countries history. We celebrate in our own way. With a great Pancake breakfast that benefits the Volunteer Fire Dept. Then we go the Parade where all sorts and sizes of floats, people and organizations get to strut their stuff, ever reminding us how blessed we are to live in this great little town. Next the celebration continues, it's off to the KIDDO Carnival and Concert on the Green at the Community Center (one of the finest in the Nation) that benefits Music, Art and many other PUBLIC school programs. We inherited the right to celebrate Memorial Day consistent (I believe)with what our forefathers envisioned and fought for. A healthy and free society, where people work and play together to make our cities, towns, country and world a better place. Imagine a world where there are NO war veterans, I like the sound of a world filled with Peace veterans. That's what Memorial Day is for me and in Mill Valley we have a Great Party. Hope to see you there! Larry the Hat, Head Honcho 'I Love a Parade Committee' PS. Anyone can apply to be in the Parade or reach out to the I Love a Parade Committee to bring to light their concerns and hopefully with constructive ideas (not just complaining). If that's not enough, have your own entry that reflects what you want to happen in the parade. If you think complaining makes a difference, You are FREE to do that.
Old Mill Park on Saturday afternoon
Thrasy Bulus May 21, 2013 at 01:33 pm
I've also noticed large numbers of people out and about enjoying the warm weather.
Rico May 24, 2013 at 10:26 am
It would have to be done over a period of time, like a few months to create something really niceRead More and complex. As each stage is completed, the artists could sprinkle glass beads on the wet paint, that is how centerlines on the streets are reflectorized. The end result would be so dazzling and gorgeous that nobody would want to run over the artwork. Also, this would be a uniquely beautiful public works project that would really capture the artistic spirit of Mill Valley, and possibly put Mill Valley on record as having the hippest traffic circle in the world. I have some great designs that I would be willing to project onto the circle for the layout.
Rico May 24, 2013 at 10:13 am
I have an idea, how about we organize a bunch of artists to paint a beautiful psychedelic mandala inRead More the in the circle. It could be done with stencils and spray paint, and also painted by hand with brushes. Of course it should be done to a master outline.
Rico May 23, 2013 at 04:55 pm
Reply to ScottRAB, There were never any traffic signals or STOP signs at that intersection, thatRead More intersection does not warrant any such control. Actually for traffic using Molino going to Old Mill, there is no delay with the circle, but traffic coming down from Molino to Cascade Dr. and from Cascade to Old Mill there is a delay and I doubt anyone pays any attention to the painted circle anyway, but the new painted crosswalk on Old Mill is a good idea, and so is the new Yield sign on Cascade Dr. Those 2 things are all that is really needed. Note that the Yield sign is a regulatory sign, and the other circle sign is only an advisory sign. According to the M.U.T.C.D, shall, should and may are the basic description of the classes of signs. A regulatory sign is mandatory or shall, like a STOP or a YIELD sign and is red and black, a warning sign or should sign is black on yellow, like when you see an arrow with a 25, that means it is not illegal to go faster than 25 mph but it is advised. Then you have guide signs (black on white) like the circle sign which are guide signs, so that sign means nothing if a motorist disregards it, which most all people do anyway. Mill Valley is not a big congested city in Europe, and that intersection is not even in a high volume-high speed location such as other intersections in town. Sorry for the above 2 posts, when posting on the Patch I have to remember never to hit the enter button, no more paragraphs. Perhaps this is to discourage long posts, and by the way, a question to the Patch editors, is there a limit to the number of characters when posting on the new Patch ?